Monthly Archives: March 2015

Cute puns to brighten your day!

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Path to Confidence; How to build confidence

Something that I have been struggling for a long time is to build my confidence back up again.

Confidence isn’t something that can be easily slipped on like a new cloak, perhaps some can are able to do so, but even for me pretending to be confident is hard if I cannot believe in myself in the first place. But as I have been slowly putting back the broken pieces of my confidence and low self esteem, I’ve learned some new things that have helped change my mindset.

1. Acceptance: We all play a crucial role in society, just like how an animal fills it’s niche. We all work together, and thrive on each other’s shortcomings as well as successes. Do not ever doubt yourself and the importance of the role you play. I always thought that just because I wasn’t known by a lot of people or doing something hugely significant that I was less important than any other given person on this planet. But the the thing is that I realized that everyone on this earth is here for a reason, and during your duration this planet, you are part of something! So accept yourself, just like how you might strive to accept other people in your lives, you also need to learn how to accept yourself as a whole because you may not know it, but everyone has untapped potential and is capable of achieving their success.

2. Acceptance #2: It was hard to grasp this at first. But now I can finally say that I care a lot less about what strangers may think about me, or what aquaintances may have to say. I’ve accepted the fact that yes that there are people who are going to hate me or pick on me for no apparent reasons sometimes. But I can choose whether to focus on the opinions that matter or not. *I know this is particularly difficult because this is what I struggled with for 2 years. I used to constantly try and think about what thoughts might be running through other people’s minds when were talking or if I was presenting in front of a class. Now I don’t do that, because I’ve learned to accept other’s opinions. They have the right to their own opinions, and no matter how much I think about or try to change their hate comments, they might still dislike me. I’ve decided to focus on the comments and advice of people that matter because they do really want the best for me. As for the other things, I honestly do not have the time to focus on them anymore. They psychologically and physically drain my energy and take a lot of important time I could use to do other things I love like volunteering:)

3. Allowance of Acknowledgement: Sometimes people who have low self esteem often look past acknowledging the achievements or obstacles they’ve overcome. Yes, we do rely on the people around us for help. But take some time to appreciate your results so far. Even if you feel that you haven’t reached where you want to reach, look at the progress or focus on the blessings of your special life. When you acknowledge how far you come, you can accurately target your attributes, as well as what went wrong. It’s important to note that sometimes when we’re in a bad mood and we feel that we are a failure, that we tend to label ourselves with our own shortcomings. So when times are tough, take to the fact that you deserve a nice little break and a little bit of you time. Do whatever you need to do, but take the time to appreciate yourself for being you!

Try these small attitude changes or try looking at things in a different perspective. I’ll be posting tomorrow about the behavioral things that you could try doing that can make a difference as well!

What is the difference between being deeply committed to a value and imposing your will on others? Why does a leader need to know the difference?

Being deeply committed to a value means that you’re extremely passionate towards what you are doing but you understand that your own commitment doesn’t always rub on others. One can be committed and focus on what they are committed on by encouraging to other. On the other hand when you are deeply committed, you can become imposing your will on others, which is a bit different. You can be so caught up in what you are doing that you may feel that value is better or other’s “must,” or “should,” do it. So when then happens there is a big difference because when you’re imposing something on someone, you are persuading them to do something against their will simply because they don’t want to do it, or you are becoming authority and imposing what you are doing onto other people. For me, I see a lot of deeply committed people on whatever they may be working hard in life, for instance the environment, their religion, or even saving water. In my own perspective, I am a Christian and am a deeply committed person. I respect other people’s values and religions/non religions. I accept everyone as they are and if they WANT to be interested in my values than that is when I teach them or help them to do whatever I am doing. However there are people and classmates in my life, that force their religion or atheism on me by saying many rude comments about what I believe in/value in. That is the main difference between being deeply committed to a value and imposing your will, it’s all in the respect. You need to respect others of their thoughts and opinions when being deeply committed, but when you’re imposing your will, there is a lack of respect on both sides.

you wish but you don’t

Don’t you wish for a better body, a smarter mind, more money, more things, to be better, to be stronger, to be perfect? I’m sure we all do at certain points in life. But for me recently, I haven’t appreciated anyone’s more life more than my own. I am proud to be who I am! And so should you.

After much thought, I realized that I still would not be happy if the things in my dreams would come true. And I’m not talking about the selfless dreams in life I want to achieve like providing clean water to everyone but the selfish dreams of being more pretty or better so others would like me. I realized that no matter how much more we want, when we actually get it, it’s not going to make us feel fulfilled. It’s about being our true selves that really matters. What I mean is, that if we wish for all the things we had or wanted to be, it might be what we want at a certain point of time in our life, but not in our future. If you think about all the wishes you had as a kid, and if they had come true, you probably wouldn’t be happy. Sure even now, we might think that we’re happy. But the real things that make us happy isn’t what we want ourselves. But perhaps, it’s more of the small things in the mess called life. Even though our lives suck, doesn’t it also shine sometimes? It shines through the depths of your heart to the cores of your bones. The smallest things make you smile because they’re part of you’re life and no one else’s. Maybe my sister’s wacky laugh makes me laugh but your friend’s goggly eyes makes you crack up. For everyone it’s different and unique because we all have our crazy messed up lives. If it wasn’t for our imperfect lives then we wouldn’t have it.

Can you imagine a perfect life? If you really think it through, everything’s so perfect that it’s boring. It’s the imperfections in our life that make it suck, but it’s the same imperfections that make us smile like an idiot and think that though life sucks, I’m glad to be me anyways.

So in reality, you wish a lot of things when things are difficult, but there is always going to be lights at the end of tunnels, new starts at the finish line. Things will get better and when they do, you wish things but you really don’t mean them, because you would rather be yourself then anyone else in this world<3

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To give up or not to?

I used to live life as a competition. If so and so could do this then I can do it as well. They were human and I was human, so that means I had the potential and capabilities to achieve what they could achieve, right?

I’ve learned that sometimes no matter how hard one tries, they won’t be able to achieve the level of someone they might be competing against. I’ve also come to realize, that yes maybe there is a point of all the sacrifice that I might come to equal someone else but is it worth all the sacrifice? I’ve been sacrificing my time, to do so many things, just to prove to myself that I’m worthy. But what I have been doing is not bettering myself, even though I have learned a lot of new skills, I’ve just spent time doing the things I don’t love to do.

Now when a new opportunity comes whatever it may be, I ask myself, is this really what I want to do, or is it just to prove to myself that I can do it? I have no doubt you can achieve what you are about to achieve, but please don’t hand over all your energy to prove something. It’s not a waste, but you could have spent that time bettering yourself in areas you want to better yourself in.

I’m a person who doesn’t give up once I’ve committed myself to something. That is both good and bad. I have now seen the other side of the coin. We are often told to look at how far we have gone and to grasp the reason for why we have held on so long. That’s what keeps us going. But my advice, life is really short. Please preserve to the things that really matter to you. Is this new passion of yours, what you really want for yourself? Sometimes life turns out differently for other people and I can’t say for everyone, but hold on to the things that matter. Don’t force yourself to keep doing something that you hate but want to persevere just for the sake of your commitment. You could have been spending that time doing and bettering yourself in things you are good at and love as well.

In the end, it all comes down to this, what does your heart say?

If you’re pulling through for a bad reason, chances are when you’re done achieving what you’re achieving it wouldn’t have been as good as something you were actually passionate about.

Redefining conformity and stereotypes

Living in Canada is incredible and I’m extremely blessed because I get to escape many of the problems others around the world have to go through. It’s the 21st century and racism is being tackled but it still exists. Not having to deal with severe racism before, I often still find myself knee deep in stereotypical problems revolving around our race.

It was beyond words for me when I was placed in a stereotype because of something I couldn’t change. And the feeling was a heavy dagger of disappointment. Especially when a teacher characterized me for something I’m not.

It got me thinking about the why? Why do people throw around stereotypes and how were they created?

I did a little of research to see that it’s psychological. We humans love to organize and predict things to patterns we create in our heads either from the influence of those around us or how we were brought up. Or fundamentally its because we want to feel better about ourselves?

And I know we all judge people once in a while before getting to know them. But now, I stop myself each time a thought starts forming about someone I have not gotten to know.

Everyone is born into a life that they had no decision in choosing. It’s common sense, but I find it so difficult to understand why people make fun of people do to race, or how much money they have. They did not choose their life to be like that, they did not choose their own gender, who their parents are, or what colour skin they have. Just like how you and I, were born as we were. We all were made without our decisions and that’s why it’s so wrong to form barriers of how a person is, or how their future will be.

We need to constantly place ourselves in other’s shoes. We all want to be loved, to feel belonging, to receive acceptance. Why are we all ganging up on each other? Why do we create certain molds for others, while we ourselves want to fit in? All of us feel lonely sometimes, we feel unwanted, and out of place. By creating images or criteria for people to make ourselves feel better is an unending cycle that builds a higher wall that separates us from being together.

If you are constantly being conformed to a certain image, do not fear, you are not alone! It’s time we tackle this issue together. Don’t choke down what you have to say, stand up for yourself. If that’s one thing I regret is that I didn’t stand up for myself when others conformed me to a certain stereotype. You are so much more than just a stereotype, you are a person with a story, a story that no one knows about that’s waiting to be shared. Don’t let what other’s assume about you drag you down, because in the end we all just want to feel loved.

What are your thoughts? Comment below!

 

Roadblock Removal

Theres a moment in life where you reach a stopping point. A point that you can’t go any further because you’re just so tired. Tired of everything. Exhausted of this unending failure. Your efforts and hard work aren’t coming together. You’re tired from always encouraging but getting nothing to keep you going. It’s been so many times that you keep getting back up, but how many times will you keep mending your heart and strength back together to have it get shattered again?

Those were the thoughts that clouded me day in and day out the past weeks. It literally seemed dark, like life couldn’t really get any worse because I didn’t think it would have gotten better. And it was so difficult, that I understood the pain, the pain that people try to tone down with other things to get their mind off of things. I don’t know your trials, and you don’t know mine. I believe that we’re all connected though. Something always brings us together in the end. Whether our inner longing is to be loved or to achieve greatness, we are all in this together. So now that I’ve luckily gotten back on my feet, I’ve understood how it’s like to breathe when I’m drowning. People may not have heard me, but this website is what makes me rethink. Rethink my decisions, rethink giving up, rethink thinking negative. I realized what a hypocrite I would be if I told everyone reading to believe that life would get better if I didn’t just because I was going through rough times. I got over it, I really did. And it’s going to take time to get over things like this, this never ending feeling of failure sometimes but zone in on your dreams. Knock out the words that keep coming back to bring you down.

I’m here to help because I want to unlock potential in others. And everyone in this world has potential. Sometimes that potential is lost because people give up, they don’t feel supported, or think no one believes in them. But I’m here to believe in you, to encourage you, to help you on your own journey to success. So if you’re going through failure after failure or on the verge of giving up, I hope this will help:

1. Let your pain out. If you want to cry, cry. And if you want to shout, shout. (But don’t take your anger out on someone else).

2. Do something that you love that will take your mind off things before you make a rash decision.

3. Write about it, and help set your words on paper.

4. If you’re ready talk it out with someone you trust.

5. Then make your decisions. I’m sure you know what to do. Whether it is to really let things go, or keep going.

I’m talking about decisions like letting go or to get back up and keep trying on my next post:)

Hope this helps!