If I don’t get to achieve my dreams or become the doctor I want to be, everything will be alright. For me, I can be very contradicting at times where one side of my is 110% and can’t stand not doing my very best at everything, but then the other side is when obstacles pop up or things don’t go planned, I’m quick to say that it’s okay if it isn’t perfect….
And right now, I have another one of these contradicting moments because I firmly believe that if I gave it my all at that point in time and there’s nothing else I could have done that would be better than that, then there’s no point in guilt tripping or second guessing myself. Who I am is a post not just about myself but about you.
I’m not sure who you are but I know at one time or another you were mad at yourself for being who you were. When I was kid, all I remember was hating myself when I got my parents angry because I thought it was all my fault. Even though I have grown up, those thoughts don’t go away because when certain events don’t happen the way I want to, I blame myself. I’ve realized that it’s just the way people like to feel at peace, they categorize or they like to target their emotions to a person or an object. But don’t ever beat yourself up because of who you are.
This post comes at a time where many senior students are finishing their applications and some perhaps are awaiting replies, but I just want to say for those high schooler’s out there, be who you are. The universities might say it and they might not accept you, and then we all get mad because some perfect kid gets in… and the list goes on. Maybe I shouldn’t have been myself? That would have definitely got me in.
Society can definitely be contradicting these days, be this but hey be yourself too. I want to tell you that for me personally, if I got into my dream university not being the person who I was, I would have felt cheated in a way. Because that’s not who I am! It’s like getting someone to fall in an idealized version of me but they don’t actually love the true me. Some might be able to live like that, but I can’t. I might at first, but once I’m alone, I’ll feel the truth and it won’t be able to stay hidden forever.
We are all unique and yes you might not have perfect grades, play sports, have a job, lead clubs, and so on but without your contributions in the things you do or don’t do the world would be different. So I’m saying, stay true to who you are because at the end of the day, isn’t the most important thing?
For me, I at first really regretted that I submitted who I am on my dream university’s application. I gave them the simplest me I could do and submitted it while I was the hospital. I waited my whole life up for that moment to be able to feel proud to submit my application but I didn’t. I felt that I hadn’t done my best… I only did the best I could do while I was at the hospital and that made me regret being who I was because my dreams clouded who I am. Who I am, is a person who stands by my values. I value in empowering others and helping others find out who they are and loving themselves. I simply could not be a hypocrite and not be proud of who I am when I submitted who I am.
So please if you’re out there and reading this, be who you are because there are people like me who appreciate you for doing that. It takes courage to stay true to who you are but I am so glad for all the people who do things from their heart because that’s what inspires me to keep going and fighting for a better world.