In celebration of International Women’s Day, I would like to take the time to appreciate the wonderful achievements of women around the world:)
There are so many milestone’s that women have achieved but there are many more that still need to be reached. International Women’s Day is a constant reminder of the beautiful strong women out there but for me, also those who have not had their voices heard. Thank you to all those who have helped shape the definition of a women throughout the years and those today who are the epitome of what women are and what they can be.
This post is called Love Yourself and it’s for all the women out there who feel unworthy or think they have fallen short of their potential.
It’s easy to feel unworthy with the constant pressure of media, and new social norms. But through these past days, watching empowering women talk about issues they’re passionate about and their body image, I realized something that never clicked inside me. I know that it’s important to accept who I am before others can accept me. I know that confidence can be fleeting at times and there will be times I will feel small. But what I did not know was that I cared a lot about what others thought about me, and now I still do (but not as much) and this was because despite being bullied over four years ago, I had not learned to love myself. If I did not love myself, whenever hurtful comments were pointed my way, they would slip past my strong exterior and then crumple what I had inside. It would take maybe a few hours, sometimes days or weeks to build myself back again and then get ready to fight off any negativity from other comments that might come. You see for me it never stopped. With one word, someone could set me catapulting back into all the hateful words, comments, and things that amalgamated the past years. And I knew it was dangerous because I kept hurting myself because I believed those things about me. That I was useless, ugly, undeserving, and much more added with personal insults at myself. That cycle will keep on going if I did not point it out and carefully remove myself from this situation. Watching this interview: Anne Hathway on her bullies and seeing how Ms. Hathway handled the situation, I learned a lot.
It’s true perhaps I don’t love myself enough and that’s a major problem. I realized that confidence and true acceptance of situations that targeted me could only be solved if I completely loved who I am. Not just at certain moments when I felt good after a run or lost weight or won a competition, but ALL times!
Ask yourself, do you feel content with you are in the bad times and good times? I hope the answer is yes, but if it is not, just like me we can constantly work at learning to love who we are. It’s important to decipher between constructive criticism from those who are trying to help you or negative comments that won’t do you or I any good.
I think I’ll make a confession that maybe some of you out there can relate to. One of the reasons I was very insecure in the past was that whenever I first met someone I would form a first impression (or more crudely put; I judged them for a brief second). I feel terrible about it, so I quickly brush it away to focus on getting to know who the person is. But that brief time that I judged someone led me to think heck, I try to be the nicest person yet I still have these bad thoughts. And that’s when I realize that if it’s so easy and mindless of me doing it, then everyone I meet must form judgements about me. So that’s really what began my fear of judgements by others and how I could not escape that fear of people constantly judging me.
But now as I grow older I want to share some tips that may or may not help you. You may have heard it before but it’s definitely great to reiterate important messages so that they stick.
- You are one but you have so much potential. Whenever negative comments get to you, remember you have a lot to offer and don’t let anyone else or an event tell you otherwise.
- Don’t take it personally! This is perhaps really important because I am so detail oriented with people that if they look unhappy when they’re saying hi to me, I’m quickly thinking did I do something wrong? Sometimes people are having a bad day (don’t make this an excuse if they mistreat you everyday though), or some circumstance has come up that has made someone say something hurtful or do something inappropriate. It’s easy to overanalyze but try to think about their perspective and let it slide. Don’t get too worked up about other’s jokes or snickers ( I used to do that but now I’m too busy doing the things I love to care).
- Focus on what you’re doing! Don’t get caught up too much with what other’s may have to say about you or giving yourself the opportunity to do so. Before I would constantly be perking up my ears waiting for negative comments or gossip to strike, but now I really am so busy with extracurriculars and academic work that I’m busy again doing the important things in my life.
- Surround yourself with the right people. This can be said for a variety of things like business or networking but when I talk about the right people, I’m talking about a support group or a close circle of people you trust and value that also reciprocate with you. These are people who love you for you, value you for you, and support you in the bad and good times. These are people who will always be willing to listen to you, help you, and support you on where you are heading. And it’s the same with you as well, are you empowering the people around you and giving them a hand up or hand to hold when times are tough? *Very important*
That’s it for now, I hope this will help those who are feeling down:( I’ll keep updating this when I find more tips!