You realize that there’s no one else in this world you can count on but her. But how does it feel to be tossed aside when someone else comes around.You thought maybe for a second… that your feelings could be returned. Or you know for a point in time you were their priority, but whenever someone comes.. you’re tossed out like a crumpled ball that everyone seems to have forgotten. How does it feel to be anyone else, are we the same? How does it feel to place someone first but always be placed second? Or more accurately, every time you think they’re the one, the one person who understands you and could be a true friend that’s always there for you… if only they cared about you the way you cared about them.
It seems that whenever you get your hopes up, don’t. It’s pointless. You forget to stand on guard and keep your eyes open. As again you get hurt. It sucks, doesn’t it? You’re not useless compared to the other person, you’re kind, you’ve got your own beautiful characteristics… but why do you always have to end up last when you try so hard? Honestly, I don’t know. I thought I could answer those questions… but I can’t. I guess sometimes, not everything has an answer. Personally, I always blame it on myself and turn my anger to the person I cared about because I realized they don’t give a crap about me. It hurts, and I keep making the same damn mistakes every time around. Even though I haven’t met a real true friend yet, I can’t stop trying. It’s just I won’t pour out my heart each time around and watch it be smushed into pieces and thrown back into my puppy dog face. Hah. But if you’re feeling the same. Feeling like you’re never good enough for everyone, and always being replaced. Don’t worry, we’re on the same boat. And if you’re always placed first, well lucky you! But for those who blame themselves like me, remember someday you’ll find someone who will place you first when you place them first. It might be a long time, but hopefully you will find some friend like that. And if you can’t, you can’t keep trying. “Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter.”
I’m not going to let someone turn my heart bitter, because my wounded heart may still be wounded but it’s not going to stop glowing to make others feel loved. I hope when you read this blog, and though your hurting… I hope you feel reassured that you’re not the only one, there’s me too:”)