When I think about the stereotype of how great the life of being a doctor is, I sometimes admit that I get caught up into it too. Sometimes I’m scared to say that I want to become a doctor, I hesitate before blurbing it out, but the reality is, that I’m scared because I know that some people think that others want to be doctors for money.
The thing is, I know deep down that money is important to survive and help others to make an impact which is what I want to do. But what I realized is that even though that is the case, I don’t need a lot of money if I become a doctor. Because all the joy will be way more precious than all the money. It’s difficult to say that sometimes because right now I have a smartphone and a laptop that I worked for, but it’s hard to give up material possessions sometimes. But I know my ultimate goal is to really change someone’s life forever. I know the climb up to the top is so difficult. It takes determination, and so much self discipline to get through all the tough obstacles from me graduating high school to saving someone’s life.
The only thing that motivates and drives me everyday is to imagine the day when I’ll hold the hand of the person that I saved, and I’ll realize that no matter how much debt I’m in, or how much sleepless nights I spent studying that it was all worth it. Because after that killing climb, you can finally let the sun kiss your stained cheeks, and slip of that hairband and shake out your hair like your dancing on sunshine. When the breeze hits your face, it’s a relief. It’s a relief that you’ve finally achieved what you wanted to, and that your whole life was kind of like a sacrifice. A sacrifice of all your time, but also to pass on a legacy. Maybe a legacy that they will forget, but you’ll remember. Since you helped that person live through another day, or longer, and they’ll go carry that victory home.
I’m not doing this for myself, I’m doing this for others. It’s the only thing I can do from taking so much from the world, but never really giving back. I use technology, I had three surgeries that saved my life three times, take medication that protects me, I wear clothes that are designed by people… and all these things just remind me of how much I take, and compared to how hard I try to give back, I still fall short. This is what my calling is, and I think I do need to fulfill it. At times I might think I can’t but actually it’s I won’t. I can’t not do something, because I can, it’s just I might not want to do it or won’t do it, but I can. If I believe, I can break barriers, and let my wings allow me to soar.