Testing the Limits

These past few days were spent at the hospital and reflecting back I know that I ignored the warnings my body gave me. You see this past week was the busiest week of my life or so I had thought until I had another lung collapse. On Friday night, I was exhausted from sleeping 5hrs the past week due to university application deadlines, a chem midterm, a calc unit test, and spirit week for Student Council. I kept thinking if the other kids in my class could sleep around 3-4hrs a night, why couldn’t I? Personally I knew I needed my sleep to function but with so many things to do and so little time, the only I could get everything done was to cut back on sleep. I was so caught up with getting everything done and the ultimate goal that in reality I lost so much more than that. I again had to go through so much pain and suffering to learn that this will be the last time that I put myself second. I put so many things first but in the end no one really acknowledges me for what I’ve done, and in the end it’s me who gets the short end of the stick. I should have seen it coming, I mean the signs were so obvious! I was like wow look at me go, leading seven ECs, taking three university courses in high school, and applying early for university in the states? Heck I was on a roll. But life easily puts you into perspective. And just like a rubber band, I kept stretching my limits until my life couldn’t hold any longer and then it broke. 

The point of this blog post, is that I used to think that if others could do something, why couldn’t I? I mean we are all humans.. But I finally realized that it’s okay if I try really hard that I won’t achieve the same things as others, and I just need to accept that, I have different limits and I need to respect that. Don’t be like me, I had to learn it the hard way. After three spontaneous lung collapses, the doctors and I still don’t know what happened, but all I know is that every time it happened, I was pushed to my maximum point. Know your limit is, test them but once you see the signs and you know you’re body can’t go on, stop pushing yourself to get somewhere you don’t have to be. I was exhausted last week, and I kept falling asleep during lectures or yawning then bumping my head to the table when writing homework. In hindsight, I should have stopped. But in hindsight we always see what we did wrong, so don’t wait for hindsight, wait for the now. 

Push yourself if you know you aren’t hurting yourself. Now I officially know my limit is and learne my lessons, I won’t make the same mistake again *hopefully*. 

Prioritize your life and that means putting health first! I eat healthy and exercise but this past week I started chopping away at my sleeping time and that’s when I started to get stressed out. Stress is a nono, once you feel the signs, stop, and relax!

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