When I think of acceptance, I think of it in many forms! With others, with beliefs, with thoughts, and with myself. But often when I think of accepting, I think that I am pretty accepting and considerate of other’s beliefs and I must of course accept myself? However recently I began scrutinizing my life after a set of unfortunate circumstances popped into my life. I began to see that I was deluding myself into thinking that I accepted myself and lived a life worth living.

What I saw was disappointing because I wanted to see something different but it’s often during difficult times that reality pokes through. You see, I value myself for my results and I often take the saying anything is possible too far. For me, I didn’t mean to compare myself continually to others, but I thought heck if they could do it, so could I! So I pushed myself so hard, trying to do a lot of things. And I was rolling along not smoothly but I was getting by. But it wasn’t mental exhaustion that got to me this time but physical.

It is through difficult times that I had to learn once again to accept. To accept my own range of what I can do and what I can’t do. I learned what my personal threshold is and when I work to my maximum potential without burning out or falling dangerously low. And I must thank my mother and my Lululemon bag for these pieces of advice. A lot of what she says is reflected in my blog posts because I learn a lot from her! As for the Lululemon bag they couldn’t be more right.  I would like to share these quotes with you and let you ponder them without much personal analysis on my part.

  1. “I valued myself by my results. After my injury I made new rules: Enjoy what i do and the opportunities afforded me every day, never lose sleep over my sport, compete like I have everything to gain and nothing to lose.”- Billy Demong Nordic skier, Olympic champion
  2. “I realized at a young age that what I did today would affect my tomorrow on or off the mountain and I never saw those life-changing decisions as a sacrifice.”-Dominique Vallee snowboarder, World Cup medalist
  3. After breaking my back, three thoughts kept coming: everything happens for a reason, nothing happens we’re not strong enough to manage, everything in life has prepared me for this moment. Rather than dwelling on what once was, I embraced my new life. Moving forward liberated me to discover my true potential.”- Josh Dueck skier, silver medalist, Paralympic Games
  4. “Three years of rehab after breaking my feet was a daily process of letting go: of expectations ,of controlling the outcome, of knowing what will happen next.” – Emily Cook freestyle skier, World Cup Winner

The bag’s word : aparigraha ( finding freedom in letting go) is very essential in accepting who I was.

I learned to let go of certain expectations that weren’t healthy for me. I learned to value myself without results and as a genuine person. I learned to let go of having my results define who I am. Though results are important, I didn’t fixate on them. And you see after doing this, for the first time in THREE years, I finally smiled a real smile. That for me is real progress 🙂 For the first time in years, I finally felt rested and healthy. I felt content and not rushing the process of living. I felt relieved.

Before there I was not taking a break because I was busy prepping for tests during all the school breaks and holidays. I was losing my sleep to achieve results, and I was placing my EC’s and school life above my family and friends. I lost so many friendships this past year and it was very difficult for me to accept. But I’ve moved on from that stage in my life and more than anything I’ve learned that I wasn’t living a balanced life style at all. And by striving to do everything by overexerting myself I lost more in the long run. Now for me it’s about still having those big dreams but not hurting myself over it. So I’m working hard, but I’m also taking that much needed rest.

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