“Don’t let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice, so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence.”
I cried a lot. It’s been a long time since I had a good let go, but now that I have I’ve learned a lot definitely. I rarely watch full Grey episodes as I’m super busy but this time I decided to indulge and Grey’s did not disappoint. There’s so much I want to say but I’ll try to logically get across what I want you to pick up.
1. Once you feel regret it’s too late. The one thing that kept me bursting into tears was that the scenario played out in Grey’s reminded me of my grandfather’s passing last year. When he first passed away, I was fine. I was okay. But as time goes on and I start to think, I still regret how I placed my work, my academics, and extracurriculars above family. I haven’t gone back to China since 2012, so it’s been four years since not only my grandfather has passed away but my great aunt; both who I cherish greatly. Each summer, I was loading myself with SATs, prepping for the next school year, studying APs, going to enrichment camps, but I never took the time to fly back to China and visit my extended family. So now as I feel regret, it’s already too late. Like the saying goes, when you’re all alone on your hospital bed, would you have wanted to work more, or cherished the things that count?
2. This also really hits close to home. This episode really touched upon forgiveness-
And even though many people have hurt me before, it still hurts. Honestly, whenever I feel lonely, the negative things just come flooding back. That’s when it hurts the most, not even when they were hurting me, but the recollection of all the things they’ve done to hurt me. Forgiveness is never easy, and when you think you’ve forgiven someone, the hurt doesn’t just fade away. I wish I could say: forgive those who have hurt you because life is short. But no that’s not want I want to say. I want you to with time whenever you’re ready to fully forgive someone. And maybe hypocritically, I haven’t completely forgave those who bullied me. I still cringe when I see them, or mentally state that I’m better than them, but I don’t think that’s acceptance just yet. Take your time to forgive, take it nice and easy.
3. Last thing, this greatly reminded me of Bullying. With Pink Shirt Day around the corner on February 24th, I wanted to highlight the importance of our actions, our words, and our VOICE. We all have a voice, some more than others as well as metaphorically and literally. Now, I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in or for others who are being hurt, but it wasn’t always like that. It wasn’t until I personally experienced pain of neglect that I started to understand and empathize more. However, you don’t have to necessarily experience something to do something about it. Raise more awareness, stick up for someone, talk to someone who other’s neglect, listen— Honestly, there are those who don’t think bullying is a big issue. I have had others undermine me because I was ‘bullied’. Maybe bullying might not be as serious as some may think, but it is not okay to undermine another’s pain. So just know if you’re being bullied, don’t ever feel that you’re weak or insignificant. You are wonderful and full of untapped potential that the world is missing out on. Always believe in yourself and if you can’t, that’s okay. Because I do <3
*For those who live near Vancity, check out how you can help tackle bullying below: